Check out these wacky second beats of STUFF from my Facebook and Twitter feeds!
I just want to grow up and become a bottle of wine. Ya know? Tomorrow I'll be older and thus slightly better (like, with age?).
Looking to ruin my vacation by bringing a 9 month old and cooking all day. Somewhere tropical and expensive would be nice?
TRYING TO FIND A MAN IN THIS CITY BUT NONE DO THE TRICK
*sexy man walks by*
MY LOVE HAS BEEN ACTIVATED. GOODBYE.
Need a tiny job on my living room. Tornado ripped right through it and I'd like the room to come back before some wild animals get any funny ideas. Thanks in advance.
Hey folks just announcing that all of my tweets will be accidental high text messages moving forward, thanks!
Pulling my children out of the public school system until they can respect America with glass shields for all flags. Preferably bulletproof. Smh
Going to Chilis tomorrow and I can't believe it holy shit I've been looking forward to this but then it's STRAIGHT to bed!!
Looking to enforce the importance of sports onto my daughter ASAP. She will be five in October. Please help thank you.
Trying to turn my cousin into a drug mule ;) my aunt says I can "load him up" tomorrow (:
We got all your favorite burnouts from high school competing in the GREATEST hackisack tournament you will ever see. Come see Chad Stanton kick the sack one more time before his life sentence begins!
