Twitter

Jeepers creepers my bike ran out of air this morning in both tires so I just submitted my application to ISIS. #Mondays

Jeepers creepers my bike ran out of air this morning in both tires so I just submitted my application to ISIS. #Mondays

Ugh honestly 9/11 was probably an inside job and I believe Edward Snowden is massively underrepresented in the modern media by the government but for real I just don't understand why some Applebee's are decorated with the local school districts. Like what if you're from out of town it will make NO SENSE to you!!

Ugh honestly 9/11 was probably an inside job and I believe Edward Snowden is massively underrepresented in the modern media by the government but for real I just don't understand why some Applebee's are decorated with the local school districts. Like what if you're from out of town it will make NO SENSE to you!!

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In the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I pray, if you or any of your plebeian cohorts tries telling me that Santa Claus is a product of corrupt capitalistic propaganda, you better strap yourself in for this 3 hour PowerPoint slideshow I've annotated, you asshole. 

In the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I pray, if you or any of your plebeian cohorts tries telling me that Santa Claus is a product of corrupt capitalistic propaganda, you better strap yourself in for this 3 hour PowerPoint slideshow I've annotated, you asshole. 

Jeez yeah my mom and dad found a pile of human corpses next to our mailbox one Saturday morning (also the mailman was running around the pile, presumably because he couldn't reach the mailbox) and they were like "who do we call?" lol it was very embarrassing.    

Jeez yeah my mom and dad found a pile of human corpses next to our mailbox one Saturday morning (also the mailman was running around the pile, presumably because he couldn't reach the mailbox) and they were like "who do we call?" lol it was very embarrassing.