Second Beats?

I really want to start posting more in this blog! Rather than trying to think of some silly funny weekly posts (that will never be good enough in my eyes) I've decided to just post quick stupid posts based on my social media newsfeeds. This will help me extensively with improv. It'll be on a daily basis and honestly I'm super excited about it. I want to get better at improv, I want to write more, I want to create content, I want to LIIIIIVE. And yeah, this should be a good start! Otherwise it's like what am I doing with my life?

 

#dahfook?!

I've neglected this blog for 5 months!

I've been so busy being an improv genius (guess who got into Advanced on their first try *wink* *wink*) that I haven't written JACK SHIT.

But, I would like to. My Buzzfeed-worthy April fools prank (yes, from a month ago) was the most fun I've had writing in a while, so I want to see if I can DRAW some more inspiration this month. 

For now, TAKE A LOOK AT THE ARTICLE. It's great. You'll love it. Felipe wrote it and he's incredible.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/cafetorr/this-guys-neko-atsume-april-fools-prank-took-him-13dxg?utm_term=.ld3eDGKDa

Seven quotes from this weekend that prove I am a conversational genius

Welp, it's Monday! Here's how socially capable I sounded this weekend.

  1. "Oh, I get that at Chipotle sometimes" - on Negra Modelo
  2. "Yeah I saw him in the bathroom and I kind of felt like I should've said, like 'hey man' or something, but I didn't" - on running into a stranger multiple times in one day
  3. "Yep! I see you shaved yours" - response to, "Hi Alex, I see you still have your beard"
  4. "I think you're doing something... political?" - on a friend's Bernie Sanders impression
  5. "Do you think there's any meat in it?" - on someone explaining to me that "nopales" means "cactus" in Spanish
  6. "It looks like space in there!" - on a simple light projection in a bar bathroom
  7. "I wouldn't just make that up, I really was named after Alex Trebek" - unprompted

#6

Astro-NAWT

I have this amazing book of writing prompts, 642 Things to Write About (you've probably seen it at Urban Outfitters) and I used to write in it on my lunch break when it was warmer out. Found the best bench outside the UN on 1st Ave... anyway, here's something from it because this blog needs CONTENT:

You are an astronaut. Describe your perfect day.

I look out the window; the sun is up--it's always up! Can't look directly into it though, don't want to accidentally blind myself. There's the moon, it too is always up. What time is it, anyway? EST doesn't apply when you can look down at the exosphere. And that is what I love about being an astronaut. There are no earthly rules. It's extraterrestrial anarchy! No gravity, no weather, no earthquakes: no worries! As long as my O2 tank is full (which is definitely a biggie), I've got no anxieties or worries. Don't have to worry about people up here. No awkward eye-contact (eww!) or sharing the ONE empty bench (please don't sit next to me) in front of the United Nations. There is no UN up here! No people, social media, or Facebook. God, I needed this. Being an astronaut is like being on vacation. It's like being high without drugs. I can just stare forever. Don't have to worry about "how can I spend my time better?" because I'm a goddamn astronaut. I'm always spending my time in a better way. No temptations of iced coffee and dollar pizzas. Ugh, no one-hour lunch breaks or cubicles. I'm so glad I studied to become an astronaut instead of the safe liberal arts degree that I considered. Otherwise I would have to go back to my basic-ass desk job (for 4.5 more hours, lol). Go SPACE!